Next Step

Well My Insurance Company decided I was well enough to stop going to group glad they had a handle on that and not my case consular. So I went to see my therapist and she asked me what it is I learned in group during the time I spent going and I told her, What not to say to doctors and therapists. She questioned me a little deeper and I just said well the time I spent in hospital and then in group really did nothing except take away the urge to do harm. Guess that is what it was supposed to be about but it did nothing for what I was feeling. I still feel everything that got me in there in the first place except the want. I feel frustrated and tried and confused and I do not want to take these damn meds I do not want to have to go to therapy or Doctors all the time. I hate what happened to me and how it makes me feel like I have to live 2 separate lives now. The normal person and the damaged one who is used and hides and is scared all the time. I feel sorry for my wife because I am not the man she married heck I am not even sure I am a man sometimes I am a little boy or a little girl all dressed up. This sucks. On the good point I guess I found a group for ASCA and I will be going for the first time on Tuesday. Let’s see if that does any good, sorry for the rant I needed to get it out. And by the way thank all of you for listening to an old man.